Ike Brings Out The Streakers

I couldn't sleep last night. I kept watching the dang Weather Channel to see what Hurricane Ike was doing. I cracked up when I saw this:

At first I thought the guy running had on a woman's bathing suit - turns out he's totally nude.

You go, boy!

Funny Posters

I think the last one is my favorite.

Thanks, Mona

We Will Never Forget

Lost Churches In New Orleans

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview with a woman from New Orleans.

The interviewee was asked if the complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives.

Without hesitation, the woman replied, "I don't know about all those other peoples, but we haven't gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's."

The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.

Thanks, Mom

For All Those Special Grandpas

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said, 'I've lost my grandpa!'

The cop asked, 'What's he like?'

The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,

'Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.'



Thanks, Mom

Does This Ever Happen To You In The Morning?

Thanks, Elaine

Getting A Job With The FBI

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair...kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions.

He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for a bout 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn.

She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband.

She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one after another.

They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL:

Women are crazy. Don't mess with them

Thanks, Mona

Enthusiasm

Via Florida 5708

Quote For The Day

Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So - if you give her any crap, you can expect a ton of shit.

Love all the women in your life!!

Thanks, Linda - Love It!