Friday, January 16, 2009

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2008

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot
with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and
gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never
sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and
teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2008 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark.
They are both charged with assault and both expelled, even though Johnny started
it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the
Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2008 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then
tested for A.D.D. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a
disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with
his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and
becomes a successful businessman.

2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care
and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she
remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an
affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2008 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations.
His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally
explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU
files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English
teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma
anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a
model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2008 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called.. Johnny is charged with
domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are
removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed
on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying
by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3
years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Thanks, Martha

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Forgive Your Enemies

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'

I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.

'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'

'Ninety-eight.' she replied.

'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: 'I outlived the bitches.'

Thanks, Peggy

A Cowboy's Headstone


Thanks, Peggy.