Saturday, December 15, 2007

Do You Know Me?

I think we know you by now.

Tank On Empty

Via Presurfer:

"Help solve a mystery that has puzzled mankind for years... How far can you go after the gas light in your car has gone on?"

Tank On Empty

3:00 A.M. Puke Fest

Why didn't anyone warn me about this -- this being woken up at 3 a.m. by your precious baby throwing up sour milk, pickles and weenies? The washing machine and dryer have been going full throttle since about 3:15 this morning.

I told you the other day that I was sick. Well, I had no idea I was contagious. Now my little sweetie has "the bug." I have never felt so helpless in my life.

It's now 11:34 a.m. and she's managed to hold down about a cup or so of Pedialyte. Keep your fingers crossed.

What To Do With Holiday Cards?

I must admit I have every single card anyone has ever given me. Why? I have no earthly idea. I don't think I've saved every Christmas card though. The ones I have saved, I think I'll get all Martha Stewarty and use my pinking shears and make them into gift tags. Seems like a good idea from an Unclutterer reader.

I bought some cheapy peel-and-stick gift labels from Walmart and they're the crappiest things I have ever seen - the labels rip when you try to peel them off backing.

Now what do I do with the hundreds of other cards I have stockpiled somewhere??? I'm such a weirdo.

Friday, December 14, 2007

'I'm not white trash'

Via The Fort Worth Star Telegram:

FORT WORTH -- Britney Self was shocked when she learned this week that an anonymous posting on a Web site described her and her husband as "inbred white trash losers," the "worst neighbors on the planet" and "something out of an intervention show."

Now Self and her husband, Kyle -- the churchgoing parents of two young children who live in a nice house on a quiet street, with neighbors who say they like them -- are wondering who hates them so much to post such vitriol on the Internet.

Nobody is fessing up in the Selfs' neighborhood in far north Fort Worth.

The detractor's identity will probably never be known because he or she chose to remain anonymous on

With more than 75 million hits and 100,000 postings since its inception last summer, takes advantage of the Internet's lax regulations against defamation, a legal expert said, allowing people to say just about anything they want about someone else without the threat of being sued.

"They leave their **** dog outside barking at all hours of the day and night ... Are these people DEAF ... No i won't put down the deaf community by clasing them with these folks," said the message, posted by someone identified only as "damnbarkingdogs." It ended by again calling the Selfs "losers."

The comments struck a nerve with Britney Self, a petite 21-year-old mother of two sons, ages 1 and 3. "That's ridiculous for them to make accusations like that," she said. "I'm not white trash. ...

"Yes, my dog barks. She's a puppy," Self said, noting that everybody else's dog in the neighborhood barks, too.

In contrast to the posting on, neighbors' assessment of the family was nothing but positive. Lori Clark, who lives across the street, said Britney and Kyle Self seem "really nice."

"I didn't even realize they had a dog," Clark said.

Next-door neighbor Sylvia Hallerman added: "I think that's kind of ugly for people to anonymously rant against them."

The site is meant only as an avenue for people to vent against their unruly neighbors, without the awkwardness of actually confronting them, said Brant Walker, the site's 27-year-old founder.

"I first got the idea when we moved into our new apartment. I noticed we had a pretty bad smell coming from our neighbor's apartment right next door," said Walker, who works as an online marketer for a drug rehabilitation center in San Diego.

There is nothing provided on to back up the posted allegations. And in some cases, like the one involving the Selfs, the subjects of the written attacks are identified and their addresses disclosed. Such a practice, Walker said, is something "we do not encourage" but don't prohibit.

Other diatribes posted on described people as "whores," "perverts," "meanies," "real asses" and "psycho woman."

Walker said that people who feel they have been wrongly judged can "flag" the posting and, after a review, it may be deleted. Asked about people described as "whores" on the site, he said: "In most cases, that probably would not be appropriate and would be deleted."

Unlike magazines and newspapers, whose content is tightly regulated by libel laws, Internet service providers are largely granted immunity from defamation claims, said Walker, citing provisions in the federal Communications Decency Act of 1996. Only "third-party" contributors -- such as the anonymous posters sending the ugly messages to -- are held responsible for what they write, he said.

"It's quite true," said David Anderson, a law professor at the University of Texas at Austin.

"The Internet provider, or anyone else who just furnishes a Web site or a forum for one person to defame another, is entirely immune under this statute," said Anderson, an expert in media law.

"I think the Internet service providers pulled the wool over the eyes of Congress for passing this statute," he said. "Congress needs to revisit the matter and narrow this protection."

And in the case of the person who called Britney and Kyle Self "white trash losers," Anderson said: "If you can't find out who it is, you can't sue them."

Exercise Ball Chair

My mother-in-law sent me this in an email. All I can say is Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. I could see myself falling all over the place, wobbling and rolling and breaking lamps, tearing down curtains and stuff.

The original Balance Ball Chair by Gaiam is a revolution in office and home furniture that combines exercise and fitness with comfort and ergonomic back support for an affordable price. These exercise ball chairs have long been a customer favorite; try one and you'll see why! Based on customer comments sent in nearly every week, it appears a quiet revolution is slowly taking over the conventional office chair set-up. With chiropractic pioneer Dr. Randy Weinzoff, Gaiam developed this patented BalanceBall® Chair as an effective tool for strengthening core muscles and improving spinal alignment.

The exercise ball chair set includes a removable 52cm Balance Ball, an adjustable support bar, easy-glide casters, an air pump and a desktop guide to get you moving. Black. Some assembly required.

On sale for $80.

Exercise Ball Chair

Harsh Reality Greeting Cards

These are hilarious.

"When you care enough to send the truth."

Here's one of their cards:

Harsh Reality Greeting Cards

Via: Rare Bird Finds

Police: Burglars Searched Obituaries For Victims

This story really hits home because I actually know this person's (the would-be victim's) grandson. My brother was at Mr. Endel's funeral when his granddaughter got the call from the Benbrook Police Department.

From NBC5I:
"A pair of burglars planned their crime by checking the obituaries and breaking into houses while the victims were at the funerals, Benbrook police say."

Watch the video here:

These people were searching the obituaries, finding out the name of the person who died, getting on the Internet and looking up their addresses, then they would break in their house during the time of the funeral, when, of course, no one would be home because all of the family and friends were at the funeral.

Supposedly, an undercover Benbrook police officer was sitting on the Endel's back porch drinking a Coke when these losers tried to break in.

For some reason, I think the Tarrant County Medical Examiner's public access website might have been where these people were finding out all their info. That's just my opinion.

But no matter how you look at it, these people are the bottom of the barrel.

Here's the story from the Star-Telegram:

Thieves target empty homes of mourners

Pair are arrested in funeral burglaries

Star-Telegram staff writers

BENBROOK -- Ledonna Scruggs was mourning with other relatives beside her grandfather's grave last week when her cellphone vibrated.

On the line was a Benbrook police detective, informing Scruggs that an officer had caught a man peeking into her grandmother's home.

The man told the officer that he was at the house to pick up a woman -- he gave the name of one of Scruggs' relatives -- and to take her to the airport.

But Scruggs told the detective that no one in her family knew the man.

Benbrook police weren't surprised. They had noticed a pattern of such burglaries, and in fact, had contacted Scruggs earlier to ask permission to keep an eye on the family's homes.

They arrested the man, David Neil Jackson, 37, accusing him of attempted burglary of a habitation. Investigators think Jackson intended to break into the widow's home, using information he had gleaned from a newspaper obituary and the Internet.

Lt. Mike Ford, a Benbrook police spokesman, said Benbrook police have identified four homes that were targeted by burglars while homeowners were involved with funerals.

"We believe they were reading the obituaries in the paper and then going by the house when the unsuspecting family members were burying their loved ones," Ford said.

"There's so many resources now on different Web sites that they can get into" to find addresses of people listed in obituaries, Ford said.

For months, Benbrook police have also been reading the obit page, conducting surveillance both inside and outside homes that were empty while families were at visitations or funerals. Sometimes, as with Scruggs, they called a family member and arranged to watch empty homes.

Jackson was arrested Dec. 6 after he caught the attention of patrol Sgt. D. Gray, who spotted a man pulling up in front of Scruggs' grandmother's home and watched as he walked to the front porch.

"He peered through the window and kind of looked over his shoulder a couple of times," Ford said.

Jackson was walking around the side of the house when Gray confronted him and, soon thereafter, arrested him.

After interviewing Jackson, police said, they searched the Fort Worth residence of Racquel Leah Gauger, 30. They recovered property, including jewelry, that had been reported stolen in Benbrook and other places around Tarrant County, Ford said.

Jackson remained in the Tarrant County Jail on Thursday night facing three burglary-related charges. His bail totals $30,000. Gauger also was in the jail with bail totaling $66,500. Gauger, who is also known as Racquel Scudder, faces two burglary charges in Benbrook and theft-of-property charges in Hurst.

Richard Winstanley, Hurst's assistant police chief, said some of the items found at Gauger's residence were stolen from a house in August while a family was at a funeral.

Investigators from other Tarrant County cities, and Hood, Johnson and Parker counties, also want to see if the pair might be connected to burglaries in their jurisdictions, officials said.

In a Fort Worth case on Dec. 3, a family attending a relative's funeral returned to their home in the 4200 block of Ridgehaven Road and saw a woman waiting outside in a car, police Lt. Stephanie Sullivan said. The woman apparently alerted a man, who ran from the back of the house and got in the car, which drove away, Sullivan said.

The frame of the house's back door was loose, indicating the man was trying to get in.

However, the woman's vehicle was different from the one the Benbrook suspect had, she said.

Sullivan said she wasn't aware of a recent increase in Fort Worth burglaries during funerals.

"But this isn't a new trick," she said. "People have being doing this kind of thing for a while."

Ford recommended that people ask someone to house-sit when they are attending funeral-related events. At least, they should alert police that the house will be empty.

Scruggs' 83-year-old grandmother said she was "in disbelief that people like that live in this world -- to try to steal from someone who has just lost somebody they love. It makes me sick."

The grandmother said she and her husband had lived in their Benbrook home for 48 years. "It would have been devastating to lose my husband's and my things," she said. "It devastates me that someone would even try."

In Jackson's pocket, Scruggs said, police found a piece of paper with her own address written on it.

"He later told the detectives that he planned on doing my house next," she said.

Vista, You SUCK!

As I told you yesterday, I'm having computer problems with my new computer (bought it in July of this year). From day one, I could not stand it. It is slower than -- well, I would say Christmas, but Christmas is just around the corner - it's slower than Thanksgiving or slower than Dairy Queen.

Anyway, I was able to use Firefox on the new computer for a total of about 1 week, then something happened - I don't know what, but I can't use Firefox at all on the new computer - not even the newest version of Firefox - think it's version 3 or something. Hell, I can't even use Internet Explorer at this point.

My computer stays on all day and night. I don't, however, like to leave me printer on day and night because it is one of those all-in-one jobbies and it rings whenever the phone rings. Since my computer is about two feet from my bed, I don't want the damn thing ringing and waking me up. So my solution is to turn the printer off. Well, every time (or almost every time) I turn the printer back on, I have to reinstall it. Why? I have no earthly idea.

I think I might stick to my old computer. It is like 5,000 times faster - even though it's not an HP or a Dell or whatever - it's one that my husband and I threw together ourselves. It has XP on it and I promise you, it is at least five times as fast as our new HP that cost a buttload.

It is so much easier to post things to Blogger using Firefox - a ton faster. Okay. I'm through griping for now.

What To Do With Your Kids' Letters To Santa

I read this post over at Parent Hacks: How To Save Your Kids' Letters To Santa

I left a comment on this post, and here it is:

"I have never done this personally because, number one, my child is only two years old, and number two, we don't have a fireplace."

"A friend of a friend has her kids write their letters to Santa, then they throw the letters into the fireplace. The point being their letters go up the same thing that Santa comes down - the chimney."

Seems like a good idea, huh?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Sorry For No Posts Today

First of all, my new computer is not working - well, it works - just won't get on the Internet. I'm writing this on my old computer. Second of all, the electricity was off this morning for about three hours total. Third of all, I'm sick.

Hopefully everything will be back to normal tomorrow.

Sorry - stick with me people.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Cards to 'any wounded soldier' aren't delivered, officials say

"Hundreds of thousands of holiday cards and letters thanking wounded American troops for their sacrifice and wishing them well never reach their destination. They are returned to sender or thrown away unopened."

"Since the 9-11 attacks and the anthrax scare, the Pentagon and the Postal Service have refused to deliver mail addressed simply to "Any Wounded Soldier" for fear that terrorists or war opponents might send toxic substances or demoralizing messages."

"Mail must be addressed to a specific member of the armed forces -- a rule that pains some well-meaning Americans this Christmas season."

Alternatives to Christmas cards:

The military suggests:
Donating to the USO or the American Red Cross' Services to the Armed Forces program
Posting messages to troops at a Defense Department Web site: 12/12/2007 Cards to 'any wounded soldier' aren't delivered, officials say


This is getting really scary. The cops better catch this person or persons or their name is mud.

12/9/2007 - The shooting

Wilkinson and her husband, Don, 70, were watching television at home in the 8400 block of Spence Court when the doorbell rang, police said.

Marianne Wilkinson got up to answer, her husband told police.

Moments later, he heard shots and raced to the doorway to find his wife bleeding in the foyer. In a five-minute recording of his 911 call, he tells the operator that he did not see the shooter.

Distraught, he attempts CPR while being coached by the operator.

After police arrive, an officer tells Marianne Wilkinson: "Stay alive, stay alive. ... Stay with me."

Marianne Wilkinson, a homemaker who had known her husband since they attended Southern Methodist University, died at the scene.

The Tarrant County medical examiner's office says she died at 8:09 p.m. from multiple gunshot wounds. Investigators said they do not know the motive.

A relative described the incident as "inconceivable" but did not want to comment further. 12/12/2007 Police seek witness in woman's slaying


A 16-year-old boy was fatally shot early today as he opened the door to his family’s apartment, police said.

Kelvin Collier was identified by the Tarrant County medical examiner's office.

He was pronounced dead at 2:10 a.m. at the apartment he shared with his mother near the intersection of Campus Drive and Seminary Drive.

Police said he heard a knock at the door and was shot multiple times.

His mother escaped by jumping out a second-story window and she, too, was shot in the leg, although it was unclear if it was before or after she jumped.

She was taken to John Peter Smith Hospital with non-life-threatening injuries, police said.

It was the second time in a week that someone in Tarrant County was shot while answering a door. The first victim was a 68-year-old woman in North Richland Hills

Teen killed, mom wounded in shooting

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big f-ing red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond. Dumbass.

Thanks, Sheri

Remember, Little girls during the 70's

A friend of mine sent me this email today. She said she had every single one of these things except for the Donnie & Marie dolls. I didn't have quite as many as her.

You had that Fisher Price Doctor's Kit with a stethoscope that actually worked.
(No, but Shorty has this)

You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it.
(Oh, yeah)

You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels.
(Got the scars on my knees to prove it)

You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute (admit it!)
(Maybe just a little)

You had nightmares after watching Fantasy Island .
(Had to sleep with the light on)

You had either a "bowl cut" or "pixie", not to mention the "Dorothy Hamill". People sometimes thought you were a boy.
(Dorothy Hamill all the way)

You had rubber boots for rainy days and Moon boots for snowy days.
(Never have owned a pair of rain or snow boots in my life)

You owned a "Slip-n-Slide", on which you injured yourself on a sprinkler head more than once.
(Don't remember hitting the remember rocks being underneath the slip-n-slide)

You owned "Klick-Klacks" and smacked yourself in the face more than once!
(What the hell is a Klick-Klack?)

Your Holly Hobbie sleeping bag was your most prized possession.
(My most prized possession was my inflatable hippo chair)

You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers.
(My mother forced me to wear these - especially the knickers with the argyle socks!)

You begged Santa for the electronic game, Simon.
(No - begged him for Street Racer)

You had the Donnie and Marie dolls with those pink and purple satiny shredded outfits, or the sunshine family.
(No Donnie and Marie dolls here. Who is the sunshine family?)

You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once.
(No metal swing set here. We had a tree swing - how 1900's of us)

You had homemade ribbon barrettes in every imaginable color.
(Had some like Jo on Facts Of Life)

You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole & the buckle). You also had a pair of salt-water sandals.
(No - my mom had some Doctor Scholl's. I had Jellies)

You wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder really bad; you wore that Little House on the Prairie-inspired plaid, ruffle shirt with the high neck in at least one school picture; and you despised Nellie Oleson!
(I never really watched Little House On The Prairie except for when I went to my friend Wendy's house and she forced me to watch it. I do, however, have a picture of me in the ruffled, high-neck shirt - what a dork.)

You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink!
(Think it actually might have been - oh, no it wasn't --- never mind.)

PONG! ("video tennis" ) was the most remarkable futuristic game you've ever heard of !
(Have to say I would have maimed someone to get Pacman)

Your hairstyle was described as having "wings" or "feathers" and you kept it "pretty" with the comb you kept in your back pocket. When you walked, the "wings" flapped up and down, looked like you were gonna "take off"
(Oh, yeah - never carried a comb in my back pocket though)

You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie.
(Not really - do remember getting a Strawberry Shortcake glass from Taco Bell once though)

You carried a Muppets lunch box to school and it was metal, not plastic. With the thermos inside some were glass inside and broke the first time you dropped them.
(I can't remember having the lunch box. I did have and still do have a Miss Piggy puppet)

You and your girlfriends would fight over which of the Dukes of Hazzard was your boyfriend.
(No fighting here - I liked Boss Hogg - just kidding)

YOU had Star Wars action figures, too!
(Maybe Princess Leia)

It was a big event in your household each year when the "Wizard of Oz" would come on TV. Your mom would break out the popcorn and sleeping bags!

You often asked your Magic-8 ball the question: "Who will I marry. Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, or David Cassidy?"
(Didn't own a Magic 8 Ball. But if I did I would have asked it if I would marry Scott Bayo (sp?), or Rick Springfield or C. Thomas Howell or -- you get my drift)

You completely wore out your Grease, Saturday Night Fever, and Fame soundtrack record album.
(I completely wore out my Eddie Rabbit album and my Abracadabra 45)

You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes, decoupage, or those weird potholders made on a plastic loom.
(Is that what those square things were, potholders?)

You made Shrinky-Dinks and put iron-on kittens on your t-shirts!
(Oh, yeah)

You used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker.
(Oh, yeah, and I would sing along - sounded like crap)

You had subscriptions to Dynamite and Tiger Beat.
(No subscriptions, but remember buying Tiger Beat every now and then)

You learned everything you needed to know about girl issues from Judy Blume books. (Are you there God, It's Me, Margaret.)
(Loved those books)

You thought Olivia Newton John's song "Physical" was about aerobics.
(What the hell? It's not?)

You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes, or shoelaces with heart or rainbow designs.

You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer.
(My aspirations were never that high)

You drowned yourself in Love's Baby Soft - which was the first "real" perfume you ever owned.

You glopped your lips in Strawberry Roll-on lip-gloss till it almost dripped off.
(Never dripped off because I always licked it off - it tasted good.)

The Three Wise Women

Click For Bigger

Merry Christmas From The Family

In case you live under a rock like I sometimes do, maybe you have never heard this song by Robert Earl Keen. Met him, love him - no you can't touch me.

Fake window

Via: Bits & Pieces: Fake window

"Affix some bright white LEDs to the inside of a venetian blind, add a timer switch, attach to a blank, empty wall in your house or apartment, and you instantly have a much psychologically larger living space. The “Bright Blind” by Makoto Hirahara will fool you into thinking that there might be a way out of your one room shack."

This is only a concept and is not for sale yet. Guess you could make your own, if you're handy like that.

White Trash Christmas

Even though I'm not dreaming of a white trash Christmas, undoubtedly I'll have one.

Via: Bits & Pieces

Yo Gabba Gabba! Play With Me

Dealing With The Death Of A Loved One

If you read my blog, you know that on most of my posts I either try to be funny (not very successful at times) or I'm usually ranting about something or raving about something. Won't be doing any of that on this post.

I got a call last night from a good friend of mine that I've known since I was 9 years old (that's 26 years - had to break out the calculator on that one.) She was calling to tell me that one of our other good friend's sister had passed away yesterday morning.

I cannot even begin to imagine what her family is feeling.

Laura was 37 years old. She leaves behind a husband, two daughters, a mother, a father, a brother, and the wittiest, sweetest sister I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Rest in peace, in peace.

Zwaggle - Like Freecycle or Craig's List but for baby products only

From their site:

Zwaggle is an online community for parents to share with other parents. Using our points based sharing system, parents spend less money, time and resources providing for their children.

Zwaggle provides members with a trusted place to:
give away used goods that are no longer needed by your family
receive value from their used goods via our proprietary points based system, called Zoints
use those Zoints to obtain items you need for your family

.: Zwaggle :.

Get rid of catalog clutter

Catalog Choice is a free service that you use to help curb the amount of catalogs that you receive in the mail. The process doesn’t take very long and can be completed in three easy steps.

From Catalog Choice:
Catalog Choice is a sponsored project of the Ecology Center. It is endorsed by the National Wildlife Federation and the Natural Resources Defense Council, and funded by the Overbrook Foundation, the Merck Family Fund, and the Kendeda Fund.

If you are tired of all the unwanted catalogs that you are receiving, you may want to give Catalog Choice a try.

Via: Unclutterer » Archive » Get rid of catalog clutter

This post is for you, Martha.

Is anybody else getting like five catalogs a day from JCPenney's like I am? It irritates me when I open my mailbox to find all these catalogs. Talk about an advertising blitz.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Wow - Some People Actually Do Read My Blog

I feel almost famous - okay, I guess the feeling that I feel right now is flattered. I'm flattered that this person took time out of their day to email me. Looky here:

Hello Shelly,

Thank you for your compliments to our note pad product line from Anne
Taintor Inc, which I discovered courtesy of Google Alerts (pasted below).

Since you asked, Anne Taintor is a self-trained, Harvard educated artist
whose products now bring smiles to vintage humor and kitsch lovers
worldwide. You can see Anne's full bio here

And since you are "a dreamer", according to your blog bio, I wonder if you
are aware of the products that feature the I Dreamed My Whole House Was
Clean tagline? We think we've recently found the real life model who
appears in this photograph. We'll be posting a feature about her in the AT
Moments/Meet the Models section of our web site early in the new year.


Check out this magnet they sent me a picture of .

How odd, because I dream this every night...that my house was clean.

Sometimes I even put my finger on my nose and move it from side to side and then blink like I Dream of Jeanie - but when I open my eyes, my house is still not clean. That's when I realize that I have no super powers.

Give 'Em The Evil Eye

Thanks, KC

Don’t Miff Your Pending Mother-In-Law

Via: Uncover The Internet

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Albino Whitetail Deer

Once again, I feel compelled to say I have no idea if this is true or not. I check and didn't find anything about it. I would try Snopes, but I hate the pop-ups.

"This was sent by a man in Rhinelander, Wisconsin"

"A very eventful day around here... A once in many lifetimes experience! I saw this lil' feller run out in front of a car-- thought it was a lost baby goat. Stopped to get it, and WOW!! A real Albino Whitetail Deer. Just hours old, but doing fine. No Momma deer around. Another car nearly hit it in front of me ..."

"Well, he is THE neatest thing any of us ever saw. And such a 'freak of nature', that only 1 in more than a million are even born. He took his bottle of food, followed us around the house, doing great. So, we called the Zoo & Fossil Rim, who were both interested, but we're going to send him to a Rehab farm. Maybe he will make it in captivity somewhere and be appreciated. So rare... Sure wanted to keep him tho. but, not the thing to do. And not LEGAL either. Here are a couple of pictures to show you. He was snow white, pink eyes, ears, nose and hooves. Kids called him POWDER. He was SO small. That is my shoe lying beside him... cool is that?? "

The Sweet Taste Of Victory

I have to say when I heard the mouse trap snap, I did a little victory dance which included an old cheerleading move (no I wasn't a cheerleader, but whatever) - anway, I jumped for joy and even did a hurkey - think I threw my back out or hip or something - ha! I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that this sucker didn't invite people over for a friends and family weekend.
(Am I a freak for taking pictures of stuff like this? No answer needed.)

Anne Taintor Christmas Cards - God, I Love These

the tree wouldn't be the only one getting lit this year

fortunately, she had remembered to stock up on Prozac before going home for the holidays

and we'll put the credit card receipts in Daddy's stocking!
she was one plum pudding away from a yuletide meltdown

she had not anticipated that "going downhill fast" would be quite so exhilarating!

Anne Taintor

Anne Taintor Sticky Notes

Whoever Anne Taintor is, I love her.

Express yourself with a note from Anne Taintor. Each has it's own stylized message to go with the right personality. Each sold separately. Matching note pads are also available.Sticky notes measure 3'' square.

$3.95 Each

Stunning Diamond Necklace - Probably The Only Kind I'll Ever Receive..sniff, sniff

item: leather necklace
size: 17" long, with 1x1 pendant
price: $25.00 each
description: finally! a stunning diamond necklace for 25 bucks. this is a great
holiday gift for someone who has a sense of humor. otherwise it might get you fired ;)
the pendant is hand-made from non-toxic shrink plastic, and coated for durability.
the cord is made from high quality natural leather with sterling silver clasp.
shipping: shipping within u.s. is $5.95. additional items ship free.
gift box: free. the item will arrive in a sexy gift box.

Via: Rare Bird Finds

Mouse In The House

I'm thinking seriously about leaving the house at this moment. I was typing at the computer & my husband jumps off the bed, trots over to where I'm sitting and is looking on the floor.
I said, What is it?
No answer.
I scream, What the hell is it? A bug?
His response, Ummm, no.
I said, Great googly moogly, it's a mouse, isn't it? Great gobs of gorilla shit, it's a freakin' mouse.
At this point, the "nutria" as I call it pokes his ugly head out from under the closet door - it was really about three inches long maybe, but they're all nutrias to me. Until I saw this mouse, I thought it was a scheme my husband was making up to get me off the computer.
Of course my screaming wakes Shorty up. I get her up and take her to the living room. Papa Rooster goes on mouse patrol - which really means he gets on the computer. I brought him two mouse traps. I stomp around in the hall to try to scare the mouse out of the closet.
About five minutes later, I'm in the living room with Shorty when I notice our cat, Loco, freaking out beside his litter box. I scream for Papa and he comes to the rescue - well, not really, but whatever. Anyway, he moves the litter box and the damn mouse runs out and runs into the kitchen under the buffet. Papa Rooster moves the traps into the kitchen. All he's managed to catch with the mouse traps is the side of his finger.
At this point, I'm fixing to have a panic attack or something. I cannot stand things like this. It makes me very, very paranoid. I go outside to chill out a minute. Come back in, and the mouse is now in the living room. Shorty and I are in the bedroom with a towel under the doorway to the hall and socks stuffed under the door to the closet.
Did I just really type all that? How embarrassing.

Story People - Story of The Day


I don't think about sex as much as I used to, I said. But all it takes is a little reminder. Like what? she said. You name it, I said & I knew instantly I had lost all credibility.

Story People

Good Advice From HR

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

N umber 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Thanks, Tim