Sex, Church & Pancakes

Sex

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying: 'Oh Mom ! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!'

Church

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand . He said 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!'

The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'

The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!'

The preacher said, 'No shit?'

Pancakes

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

'Gee, Mom ,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'

'Just take two,' Brenda replied . 'The rest are for your father.

Thanks, Sheri

Who Does Stuff Like This?

I just read a story where someone drove by a ranch in Parker County that raises livestock and apparently shot five cows and two horses, then they proceeded to cut the tongues out of two of the cows mouths. Freaks, sickos - this is just unbelievable to me.

They're Calling This A Bonehead Play...

I call the guy a jackass.

But Dallas went on to win the game so all is right with the world.

Better Video of Hurricane Ike Streaker

Here's a slower version of the video I uploaded a couple of days ago. The naked guy will come in behind the guy talking - then he'll go off the screen on the left - takes him forever to come back in the shot.

You can hear my little shorty in the background near the end - whoops.