Thank You, DadLabs

I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself. And it's over what? A Boon Potty Bench. Why am I excited over a potty bench? Well, because I won it, that's why.

I left a comment on one of DadLabs videos and their random number generator thingy picked me! Whoo-pee. Get it? Pee. I'm such a dork.

Go over to DadLabs and check out their hilarious videos and see if you can be as lucky as me. Yippee! Yippoo! Please do both in your fancy new potty bench, Shorty!

Chicken Pot Pie

Look at me trying to be Pioneer Woman. I'm far from it - with my 1960 Corning Oven that takes about 30 minutes to get water to boil and my Walmart brand canned goods and frozen pie shells.

I guess we could call this Redneck's Chicken Pot Pie.

Here we go:

You'll need all this crap:

Which is 2 Cans (15 oz.) Veg-All Original Mixed Vegetables, drained

1 Can (10 oz.) cooked chicken, drained (I use the all white meat.)

1 Can (10 3/4 oz.) condensed cream of chicken or mushroom soup (I use the chicken because I'm not too fond of mushrooms)

1/4 tsp. thyme

salt & pepper

2 frozen pie crusts (Might I suggest splurging on a different brand of pie crusts other than Walmart brand.)

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. If your oven is an ancient mother -- I mean, antique like mine, adjust the temperature so you don't set the house on fire.

In a medium mixing bowl, combine all the ingredients and mix well.

Pour all that stuff into one of the pie crusts.

Then slap the other pie crust on top of that and smoosh around the sides. Then take a fork and try to poke some holes in the top so it can vent. I wasn't so successful at this step. It doesn't make any difference what the hell it looks like unless the freakin' queen is coming over for supper. And if she was coming over for supper, I don't imagine you'd be serving her this.

You thought I was kidding you about my oven, didn't you?

I wasn't.

Bake for 50 - 60 minutes. I forgot to say to put a cookie sheet or something underneath it while it cooks in case it bubbles over.

This is what it looks like when it comes out of the stove. It's pretty runny, so let it sit a while.

This looks horrible, but it tastes pretty damn good and it's easy.

Gas Pump Cheating

Got this in an email from my sister. Don't know if it's true or not, but worth checking it out.

On April 24, 2008, I stopped at a BP gas station in GA. My truck's gas gauge was on 1/4 of a tank. I use the mid-grade, which was priced at $3.71 per gallon. When my tank is at this point, it takes somewhere around 14 gallons to fill it up.

When the pump showed 14 gallons had been pumped I began to slow it down, then to my surprise it went to 15, then 16. I even looked under my truck to see if it was being spilled. It was not. Then it showed 17 gallons on the pump. It stopped at 18 gallons.

This was very strange to me,since my truck has only an 18 gallon tank. I went on my way a little confused, then on the evening news I heard a report that 1 out of 4 gas stations had calibrated their pumps to show more gas had been pumped than a person actually got.

Here is how to check a pump to see if you are getting the right amount:
Whichever grade you are using, put EXACTLY 10 GALLONS in your tank, then look at the dollar amount. If the dollar amount is not EXACTLY10 times the price of the fuel you have chosen, then the pumps are rigged.

In my case as I said the mid-grade was $3.71 9/10 per gallon; my dollar amount for 10 gallons should have been $37.19 (3.719 * 10 = 37.19).

I wish I had checked the pump.

It doesn't matter where you pump gas, please check the 10 gallon price.

If you do find a station that is cheating, contact the state Agriculture Department, and direct your comments to the
Commissioner- -info is on the gas pumps.

We need to put a stop to this outrageous cheating of customers. The gas companies are making enough profits.

Thanks, Gretch

Bird Crap Detector

Thanks, Martha

The Boogie Woogie Man

Mature Dr. Seuss Books

Dogs Community

I don't know whether to laugh or feel bad for this guy. I posted a question over at MedHelp in their Dogs Community Forum about my dog Willie who has not eaten now for about seven days. By the way, if anyone has any suggestions on what to do with a dog who aboslutely will not eat and has lost tons of weight, please let me know. The vet said he'll eat if he gets hungry enough?????

Anyway, I go over to MedHelp to see if anyone has commented on my question and I read the question two questions below mine. Let me remind you that this is in the "Dogs Community" section of this website. I think this guy might not have picked the right category.

Holmes On Homes

Do any of you watch Holmes On Homes? I watch it just so I can look at Mike Holmes. Shhh - don't tell anybody that.

One of Mr. Holmes' many talents is caulking. He likes to do all of the caulking. He is a pro at caulking. Hey, Mike, there's a lot of caulking that needs to be done at my house. Hmm, I wonder if he's related to John Holmes? Bad Shelley, bad Shelley. Must go wash my mind out with soap.

(I forogt to mention I do not pronounce the L in caulk - bad girl)



Holmes On Homes

UPS

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those who fly routinely in their jobs.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Thanks, Peggy