Wednesday, November 21, 2007

DFW - Slight chance of snow in forecast Thanksgiving night

"If you've been cooped up in the office today, you might not realize it's gotten pretty brisk and windy out there. This afternoon, there will be a 20 percent chance of showers, with wind gusts up to 30 mph. Tonight, the low is 38."

"On Thanksgiving, the high is 49. As you sleep that night from the huge feast, there's a slight chance it will snow after midnight, according to the weather service. There's no mention of any accumulation.
It should be pleasant during the day Friday, but starting that night, there's a 40 percent chance of rain, with a low near 40. That weather will be more or less the story all weekend, but it will clear up and get a little warmer Monday."

-- John Powell Metz

Storm troopers: Slight chance of snow in forecast

Thermofocus - First Non-Contact Clinical Thermometer - KidzMed.com -


Thermofocus is the most modern, advanced and safe device to measure body temperature. It is both convenient and easy to use. Indeed, it is the first “non-contact” medical thermometer. The device enables the temperature of adults and children to be taken without touching the skin, simply by moving the thermometer close to the forehead at the distance indicated by the device. With Thermofocus there is no need to place the thermometer in any part of your or your baby’s body. A sleeping baby or patient will not be woken when Thermofocus is used nor will they be caused any discomfort by the device if they are awake.

$99.95

KidzMed.com - Home Health Care Products With Children In Mind.

Police expect increased traffic around Arlington malls

Duh!!

Star-Telegram.com: 11/20/2007 Police expect increased traffic around Arlington malls

Thanksgiving Quiz

Thanksgiving Quiz

I got 8 right - whoopee!

Italian Cork Soakers - Funny - It's Sofa King Great!


Italian Cork Soakers - For more funny movies, click here

Fort Worth runs out of flouride for water


FORT WORTH -- The city of Fort Worth has temporarily stopped adding fluoride to public drinking water supplies, because of a nationwide shortage of the tooth decay-fighting compound.
The city, which supplies drinking water to nearly 1 million people in Tarrant County, ran out of fluoride last month after its contracted supplier failed to deliver a promised shipment, said Mary Gugliuzza, public education coordinator for the Fort Worth Water Department.

She said the city is completing an emergency purchase order for at least a three-month supply of fluoride, and it should arrive by Nov. 30. "We're going through the steps to try and make that happen as quickly as we can," she said.

Fort Worth is the only water supplier in the county to run out of fluoride. But more than a dozen other cities are affected because the city supplies water to Keller, Southlake, Burleson, Trophy Club, Crowley, Everman, Haltom City, Hurst, North Richland Hills, Richland Hills, Saginaw and White Settlement.

More here: Star-Telegram.com: 11/21/2007 Fort Worth runs out of flouride for water

This reminds me of something my ex-step-father-in-law used to say when he'd go somewhere and order something and they were out of it. For instance, one time we all went to eat at Montana's Restaurant. He ordered a steak. And, of course, that steak came with a baked potato. I guess maybe he ordered his baked potato loaded. To which the waitress replied, "We're out of baked potatoes." His response, "Did you people not know you were going to be open for business today?" I ordered a pepperoni pizza one time from Dominoes. They were out of pepperoni. What the hell? No wonder everybody's teeth around here are starting to turn green like the people in West Texas. Come on now, don't tell me you've never noticed that people's teeth are green in West Texas.

Where are they now? Toys of the 80’s and then some

Where have some of the most popular toys of old gone? Well many of them are still around and have been fixed up for the youngsters of today. (With even more lead paint!)

Just in time for the holidays, here’s some toys you may remember that are still around and a few that aren’t.

This is too funny - check it out here: YesButNoButYes: Where are they now? Toys of the 80’s and then some

Dreams Of Flying


Crossing the desert on the back of a dog, or searching for lost treasures on the bottom of the ocean. Jan von Holleben's photographs allow children to make their dreams come true.
Inspired by classic childhood books as well as modern superheroes, he produces 'Dreams of Flying' with children from his local neighbourhood in Germany.

The Miracle Tree


Imagine a tree that will meet all your nutritional needs, take care of you medicinally, and purify your water for you. This tree actually exists.

For centuries indigenous people in northern India and many parts of Africa have known the many benefits of Moringa oleifera. Its uses are as unique as the many names it is known by, such as clarifier tree, horseradish tree, drumstick tree and in East Africa it has the alias 'mother's best friend.'

Via: The Presurfer: The Miracle Tree

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Flozell Jootin Adams - Dallas Cowboys #76


We were watching the football game last Sunday. And of course when I say the football game, you know I'm talking about the Cowboys. I don't usually ever watch them, but thought I'd sit down with Papa Rooster and watch it with him. I could not believe the size of this man - Flozell Adams - he is huge - I mean HUGE. His stats say he's 6'7" and weighs 340 pounds. He looks a lot bigger than that on the TV.

Papa Rooster will probably not be watching any more Cowboy games with me again. I think I asked too many questions. I still don't get the kickoff deal - why the team that kicks hauls butt down the field to try to catch the ball, but not in the end zone and then something about having to run it out of bounds and something about the 20-yard line -- Damn, Big Daddy, did you see how big that boy is? All I can say is Hoss! Giddyup, Hossie! Who's that Witten guy? He's kinda cute. Why the hell did they just call a penalty on that guy? What? You can't knock someone down from behind? That's the craziest crap I've ever heard in my life. This is freakin' football for crying out loud. What is he supposed to do, go up and tap the guy on the shoulder and say, Would you please fall down now? This is the pussifying of football. Next year they'll all be wearing pink tu-tus or something. (This is why I probably won't be watching football with Papa.)

ESPN - Flozell Adams Stats, News, Photos - Dallas Cowboys - NFL Football

Alabama Blonde - I Love It


Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, "Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"

She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

Moral of the story:

Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But all men... are men

Thanks, Mom

Regarding the picture above, I went to Google, typed in the word "craps", hit the images button and this picture was one of the first ones to come up. What the hell are those people doing up there anyway? They're "naturists."

Trace.com - The global database of lost, stolen and seized items

Via CBS11tv.com:

Texas Part Of Online Stolen Property Tracker

AUSTIN (AP) ―
Just in time for the holidays, a new Website allows Texans to register valuable property and check whether items they are buying have been reported stolen.

Trace.com, a subsidiary of MyThings Inc., is collaborating with the Texas Police Chiefs Association, Texas Department of Public Safety and more than 500 local police departments and sheriff's offices in the state.

The Website will let people register property, report property that has been stolen and check whether an item is reported stolen.

The company already has partnered with more than half the police forces in the United Kingdom and some international law enforcement organizations. Trace's Texas project is its first law enforcement partnership in the United States, according to a statement issued by the police chiefs association.

"Having a single database of stolen items that all Texans -- from recent crime victims, to eBay customers, to antique dealers and pawnbrokers -- can access will help us identify and return stolen property," said Abilene Police Chief Melvin Martin, president of the police chiefs association.

A DPS statement says the database includes all identifiable property reported to the FBI as stolen by Texas police agencies. The statement says Trace.com will allow shoppers to buy with confidence from online auction sites, antique dealers and pawnbrokers.

Trace.com - The global database of lost, stolen and seized items

Threadless - All tees $10

During their Holiday Sale, Threadless knocks most of their shirts down to just $10. If you're looking for an original shirt that will break you apart from the pack, Threadless is the place to shop. Shown is the design "Cowboys and Indians". Sale ends 12/16/2007.

Threadless - All tees $10

Via: The Bargainist

Amazon.com - Select health & beauty 50% off or more

The Manager's Special Sale at Amazon.com offers select heath and beauty products at prices reduced by 50% or more. We found WaterPiks, tooth whitening products, electric razors, and a ton of other everyday used items. The Remington Smooth & Silky Women Body Contour Shaver, shown, is now $12.39 (reg. $24.99). Sale ending unknown.

Amazon.com - Select health & beauty 50% off or more

Via: The Bargainist

ThirstyLight.com, Know when to water your plants!


The Thirsty Light™ is a convenient digital plant moisture sensor designed to be unobtrusive when left in the soil of a plant where it continuously monitors conditions, testing the moisture level once per second. The Thirsty Light blinks a LED light to alert the user when its time to water. With the Thirsty Light™, you will never have to guess when your plants need watering.

$9.95 Each

ThirstyLight.com, Know when to water your plants!

Barnes & Noble.com - Online Savings Up To 40%


Save $10 on Thanksgiving Flowers and Plants from 1-800-FLOWERS.COM


Bombay Stores Closing - Everything 30-40% Off


Click to find a store near you: Untitled Document

75% Off Darling Shoes - Baby, Toddler, Preschool Boy and Girl Shoes for Less


11/20/07- 11/18/07

Darling Shoes - Baby, Toddler, Preschool Boy and Girl Shoes for Less

8 clubs you probably couldn’t join

The only one I've ever heard of is Mensa. Be sure and go to the Mensa website and take their "fun" test. Wasn't very fun for me - made my head hurt and made me feel really dumb.

8 clubs you probably couldn’t join « deputydog

Hands-Free Baby Bottle Holder - Great Idea


The Baby Butler Hands Free Bottle Holder is truly one of a kind. In a world full of products to help you care for your baby, nothing can give you a “helping hand” like this one. You can bond with your baby during feeding time and still have a free hand and arm….Your Own!

The Baby Butler Hands Free Bottle Holder weighted pillow is placed over your shoulder and the thick Velcro strap on the other end securely holds any size bottle to your baby’s mouth. It also serves as your baby’s burp cloth and has a small pocket to hold a pacifier. The reverse side is a changing pad with a soft pillow for your baby’s head.

The Baby Butler Hands Free Bottle Holder was designed to make your life easier during feeding time. If the phone rings, you can answer it. If you’re waiting for an email, you can get it. You can also eat at the same time as your baby so your meal doesn’t get cold!

The Baby Butler Hands Free Bottle Holder is so convenient it can go anywhere with you in its re-usable bag. And you never have to worry again about changing your baby on an unfamiliar surface. It’s a perfect gift for parents-to-be and grandparents too!

$22.00

Tiger Butter


I have made four batches of this already this holiday season and plan on making a lot more. This stuff is damn good and so easy to make. This might explain why my ass is starting to look like a TV tray.

1 lb. Vanilla Almond Bark
1/2 to 1 Cup Peanut Butter (I always use close to a cup)
6 oz. Chocolate Chips

Microwave almond bark and peanut butter 5 minutes on 50% power. Stir occasionally. Melt chocolate chips the same way. Spread peanut butter mixture on foil-lined cookie sheet. Drizzle chocolate over and swirl. Chill and break into pieces.

Ready for a dip



Via: Bits & Pieces: Ready for a dip

Please neuter...



Via: Bits & Pieces: Please neuter...

Monday, November 19, 2007

Sears.com price mistake! Instead of $10% off, it's $10 off on all items in the Lawn and Garden

Sears.com price mistake! Instead of $10% off, it's $10 off on all items in the Lawn and Garden

Why Is It Blank?

I have no idea why my blog goes completely blank except for the title sometimes. Sorry I'm a dumbass and can't figure it out.

Sea Salt Versus Ordinary Table Salt


Papa Rooster and I went to the store the other day and we bought some sea salt that came in it's own little grinder container deal. I like the taste a lot better than table salt. Papa Rooster is still on the fence about it. I thought I'd do a little research to find out exactly what the difference is in the two, and which one is actually better for you.

The findings:
From Wikipedia:
Gourmets often believe sea salt to be better than ordinary table salt in taste and texture, though one cannot always taste the difference when dissolved. In applications where sea salt's coarser texture is retained, it can provide different mouthfeel and changes in flavor due to its different rate of dissolution. The mineral content also affects the taste. It may be difficult to distinguish sea salt from other salts with a high mineral content, such as pink Himalayan salt, or grey colored rock salt.

Because sea salt generally lacks high concentrations of iodine[2], an ion essential for human health [3], it is not necessarily a healthful substitute for regular iodized table salt[4], which is usually supplemented with the element, unless another source of dietary iodine is available. Iodized forms of sea salt are now marketed to address this concern. However, unrefined sea salt contains many important minerals that regular iodized table salt does not contain.

From Saltworks.us:
Sea Salt - Other Names: Sal Del Mar, Sel De Mer, Sale Marino

Sea salt is a broad term that generally refers to unrefined salt derived directly from a living ocean or sea. It is harvested through channeling ocean water into large clay trays and allowing the sun and wind to evaporate it naturally. Manufacturers of sea salt typically do not refine sea salt as much as other kinds of salt, so it still contains traces of other minerals, including iron, magnesium, calcium, potassium, manganese, zinc and iodine. Proponents of sea salt rave about its bright, pure, clean flavor, and about the subtleties lent to it by these other trace minerals.

Some of the most common sources for sea salt include the Mediterranean Sea, the North Sea, and the Atlantic Ocean (particularly in France, on the coast of Brittany). Sea salt is thought to be healthier and more flavorful that traditional table salt. Available in coarse, fine & extra fine grain size.

My conclusion: Buy iodized sea salt if you can find it.

Toilet paper pitchman dead at 91. RIP, Mr. Whipple


LOS ANGELES — Dick Wilson, the character actor and pitchman who for 21 years played an uptight grocer begging customers "Please, don't squeeze the Charmin," died Monday. He was 91.

The man famous as TV's "Mr. Whipple" died of natural causes at the Motion Picture & Television Fund Hospital in Woodland Hills, said his daughter Melanie Wilson, who is known for her role as a flight attendant on the ABC sitcom "Perfect Strangers."

Wilson made more than 500 commercials as Mr. George Whipple, a man consumed with keeping bubbly housewives from fondling toilet paper. The punch line of most spots was that Whipple himself was a closeted Charmin-squeezer.

The first commercial aired in 1964 and by the time the campaign ended in 1985 the tag line and Wilson, a former Canadian airman and vaudeville veteran, were pop culture touchstones.

He also played a drunk on several episodes of "Bewitched," as appeared as various characters on "Hogan's Heroes," "The Bob Newhart Show," and Walt Disney productions.

Word Definitions

I found this website when I was trying to find out what fortnight meant. I heard that word on How Clean Is Your House and I had no idea what it meant. Aggie asked someone how often you were supposed to totally change out the liner and litter in a cat box, and the lady's reply was "once a fortnight." Here's what fortnight means:


fortnight (FORT nite) noun A period of 14 days and nights; two weeks.

Use this word and everyone will think you're English or maybe Canadian. Which I suppose would be correct if you are. Not that it's un-American for a Yank to use it, just unusual.

More words here: Word Definitions

The Baker Hotel (Mineral Wells) May Get New Lease On Life


From The Weatherford Democrat:

How much is it to buy the Baker Hotel?

The answer confirmed Friday morning is $2.2 million.

On Thursday, Industrial Foundation and Mineral Wells city officials announced an agreement reached between the Industrial Foundation and the historic structure's owner, Greg Horne, of Phoenix, Ariz., to market the property.

“We now have a fixed price,” said Richard Ball, president of the Industrial Foundation, which is good through the end of 2008. He explained at Thursday's press conference that they met with Horne approximately two months ago and eventually worked out the terms Horne would agree to.

When asked Thursday what that “fixed price” was, Ball demurred, “We'd rather not go there. … We just got the contract back this week for the second or third time.”

Industrial Foundation's Steve Butcher explained the foundation has the hotel “under contract” in order to market it to potential developers, but not to buy the hotel itself.

“We've got till the end of 2008 to structure a deal,” he said

More Here: Weatherford Democrat - Historic hotel may get new lease on life

This is great. I hope the deal works out. Although, I wouldn't like to work here because I think it's haunted. Yes, I'm weird like that. Check this out though:

The Baker Hotel

Black Friday Deals @ Sam's Club - nov. 21 at samsclub.com

The website says November 21, items available after 10 pm. I have no idea what this means because I thought Sam's closed at like 8. They do open the 23rd at 5 am. Go run out and buy one of these beauties for 20 grand...


Like I always say, I am about half retarded. I just realized this said "online only". I guess their online sale starts Wednesday at 10 pm. You can save yourself a trip to the store that Friday and buy this sucker online - what a steal! I wonder if you could live in this thing because it costs about half as much as my house did.

Sam's Club - nov. 21 at samsclub.com

One Evening My Wife And I...(This Is Funny)

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear...'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let' s get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?'

I then said 'honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.' And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Thanks, Mona

Wal-Mart Black Friday Deals

Advertised Values - Feature - Wal-Mart

Amazon.com - Kitchen & Home Thanksgiving Sale

Amazon.com's Kitchen & Home Thanksgiving Sale.
Shop for small appliances, cookware, tableware, bedding, pet supplies, and much more.

Via: The Bargainist - Amazon.com - Kitchen & Home Thanksgiving Sale

Office Depot - $10 off $40 - Expires 11/21/07


Helpful Hints

Got these great tips in an email from Sheri - thanks, sista!

1. Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove , set heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

2. Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal , mash till they are all broken up.
Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy , squeeze mixture into egg. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

3. Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.

4. Reheating Refrigerated Bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

5. Newspaper Weeds Away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.

6. Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.

7. No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

8. Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

9. Flexible Vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper
towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened
to get in narrow openings.

10. Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy
skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose.
Place pin in seam of slacks and -- ta da! -- static is gone.

11. Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

12. Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

13. Reopening Envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.

14. Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's a lot cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.

15. Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

16. Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home', can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

17. INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink, ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material - I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. WELL...the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there.

It's what is in the dryer sheets to make your clothes soft and static free - that nice fragrance too, you know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box, well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to catch fire & potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (& to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out & wash it with hot soapy water & an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!

Reason Why I Was Late For Work - Broken Fan Belt

Got this in an email from Tim:

A guy in St. Louis was driving to work on Hwy 144 when he heard a 'pop'! He thought it sounded like a flat tire, though his ride wasn't affected. After pulling over, checking the tires and finding them intact, he opened the hood to look at the motor.

Before the hood was even all the way open he jumped back in shock and knocked his head on the partially opened hood, unable to believe what his eyes were seeing!
Nobody was going to believe this! You sure wouldn't have either!

Fortunately, a coworker with a camera recognized him along side the road and
stopped to see if he could help.

Check out the photos to witness for yourself the source of his amazement. Now, this has to be right up there at the top of the list of unusual but verified 'reasons I was late for work'!





How to Fix 10 Common Thanksgiving Problems

Stuck with a bird that's slow to defrost? Or too few burners? Here's a guide to get you over some of the most common hurdles.

How to Fix 10 Common Thanksgiving Problems Meals : RealSimple.com

411: 3 Ways To Call 411 For Free

Here's three free ways to get directory assistance without paying a dime.

1-800-GOOG-411
1-800-CALL-411
1-800-FREE-411 (requires listening to a short ad)

Via: 411: 3 Ways To Call 411 For Free

How To Take Great Pictures With Your Digital Camera



Via: Dumb Little Man

.docstoc: Loads of Free Documents and Templates

From Dumb Little Man:

".docstoc is a site that you can use to find just about any document you need. If your a landlord like I am and you want to revamp your lease agreement, they have tons of them. If you want to draft a business plan, they have a ton of examples. Since this site is entirely user driven, it's also not uncommon to find some Excel template that is being used as a personal budget tracker by some guy in Omaha. "

Via: .docstoc: Loads of Free Documents and Templates - Dumb Little Man

Scared On An Elevator - Hilarious

I cannot watch this video without laughing out loud. It cracks me up. Other people watch it and think I'm crazy because I think it's so funny. Maybe I am a little crazy, but I think the people who put this whole let-me-yell-at-someone-getting-on-the-elevator prank together might be a tad bit crazier than me. There's a first.

People Getting Scared

It cracks me up when people get scared. I'm the biggest scaredy cat there is. You could stand in front of my face and yell "boo" and it would scare me. My first reaction after someone scares me is to put my fingers in my ears - I have no idea why. Papa Rooster's reaction is to run in place, kind of like Fred Flinstone. He calls it "warming up" - I call it freakin hilarious. He's passed this trait on to Shorty Rooster.

The Art of Woman




Via: The Art of Woman - so you wannabee a Domestik Goddess?

Strange Driving Laws

From Simply Dumb:

Sometimes laws remain on the books in perpetuity because they are so intrinsically logical and important that they simply must be law. For example, it is legally mandated that we must drive on the right side of the road and not be intoxicated when behind the wheel. Without these ordering laws, people like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan might be running the streets.

Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but some traffic laws are really important.

The folks over at DMV.org, however, have collected together some of the most bizarre traffic laws that are still on the books. Some of these just sound like common sense, but given idiots like these, maybe they really are important. For instance, in Alabama it is illegal to drive while blindfolded. Seems obvious, but then I could see this having some important functions. Not so sure about this one from Connecticut however: Apparently it is illegal at any time of the year to hunt from cars. That’s right, hunt. Are people in Connecticut so lazy that they can’t get out of their cars to shoot their prey?

Anyway, check out these and more here.

Eyes Lips Face - 50% off all makeup coupon

At Eyes Lips Face, the only thing better than $1 makeup is 50 cent makeup. Apply coupon code GOCRAZY5 at checkout, and all makeup will ring up 50% off. Expiration unknown.

Via: The Bargainist - Eyes Lips Face - 50% off all makeup coupon

DFW Airport Shut Down, Reports Say

Dallas/Fort Worth Airport has been shut down because of technical problems during one of the busiest times of day in what is typically one of the busiest weeks of the year.

The problem has something to do with the towers' ability to communicate.

Airport spokesman Ken Capps, told KDFW Channel 4 that problems started at about 7 a.m., causing ground traffic at the airport to back up. Some incoming aircraft were allowed to land, according to reports.

"About 7 a.m. the FAA control tower did lose communication for some reason," Capps said. "As a a precaution all aircraft were told to land. The west side tower has come up and we are hoping the FAA will have the system fixed in few minutes, Capps told Channel 4 at about 7:30 a.m.

"This falls into the same category as bad weather. We're hoping it won't last too much longer," Capps said.

Images shown on KDFW showed airplanes idle on the tarmac.

Check dfwairport.com - Flight Tracker for details.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Would You Do Business With This Bank?

The Bank: Bank of America, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I want to cancel my account. I don't want to do business with you any longer.
The Bank: Why?
Customer: You're giving credit to illegal immigrants and I don't think it's right. I'm taking my business elsewhere.
The Bank: Well, Mr. Customer, we don't want to see you do that, but we can't stop you. I'll help you close the account. What is your account number?
Customer: (gives account number)
The Bank: For security purposes and for your protection, can you please give me the last four digits of your social security number?
Customer: No.
The Bank: Mr. Customer, I need to verify your information, but in order to help you, I'll need verification of who you are.
Customer: Why should I give you my social security number? The reason I'm closing my account is that your bank is issuing credit cards to illegal immigrants who don't have social security numbers. You are targeting that audience and want their business. Let's say I'm an illegal immigrant and you've given me a credit card. I have a question about it and call for assistance. You wouldn't be asking me for a Social Security number, would you?
The Bank: No sir, I wouldn't.
Customer: Why not?
The Bank: Because you would have pressed '2' to speak in Spanish. We don't ask for that information when calling in on the Spanish line.

"Snopes" for doubters: http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/bankofamerica.asp

Now I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that the reader gets sick of reading them. I have included t he URL's for verification of the following facts.

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year. http://tinyurl.com/zob77
2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.
http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html
3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens. http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html
4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of English! http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html
5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & social services by the American taxpayers.
http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html
9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html
10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children, are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US.
http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html
11. During the year of 2005, there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from terrorist countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroine and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border.
Homeland Security Report: http://tinyurl.com/t9sht
12. The National Policy Institute, "estimated that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five-year period."
http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/pdf/deportation.pdf
13. In 2006, illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances back to their countries of origin.
http://www.rense. c om/general75/niht.htm
14. "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States."
http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml

The total cost is a whopping $ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR. If this doesn't bother you then just delete the message, but on the other hand, if it does raise the hair on the back of your neck, then forward it to every human in the country including every representative in Washington , DC .

Thanks, Tim. This certainly is eye-opening.

Three Men And A River

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river.

Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: "God, please give me the strength to cross the river." Poof!.....God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed: "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river." Poof!......God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river" Poof!.....He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

Thanks, Mom

Very Cold Thanksgiving Ahead For DFW

I'm excited about this. I don't like it being hot on Thanksgiving. I wish it would get cold and stay cold. Then in the middle of winter, I'll probably wish I didn't wish that.

From Storm troopers:

Very cold Thanksgiving in forecast

The weather service issued a hazardous-weather statement Sunday afternoon for North Texas, saying that a strong cold front will move across the area Wednesday morning. Temperatures will drop drastically, and it will be very windy (with gusts up to 30 mph). There's a 40 percent chance of showers and thunderstorms.

On Thanksgiving, it will be cold in the morning, with wind-chill readings in the mid-20s north and west of here. In the afternoon, temperatures are expected to hover in the high 40s and low 50s. For the rest of the holiday weekend, a cold rain and possibly a freeze should begin over West Texas on Friday and spread to North Texas through Sunday.

-- John Powell Metz

Red or Green Apple Rings


$12.00

An apple a day and on your finger it will stay! This super-cute ring is acrylic and one size fits most. 1" wide with rhinestones in the small gold-tone leaf. Green or red take your pick!
31 Corn Lane: Red Apple Ring

Via: Rare Bird Finds

The Superest: Shelly the Efficient Secretary

I have no idea what this website is. It looked kind of weird, but I thought this was funny.



The Superest: Shelly the Efficient Secretary

Via: Fresh Arrival

Here is an explanation of The Superist:

The Superest is a continually running game of My Team, Your Team. The rules are simple:

Player 1 draws a character with a power. Player 2 then draws a character whose power cancels the power of that previous character. Repeat.

How To Fold A T-Shirt

I saw this ages ago, but thought I'd share it in case you haven't seen it.


VideoJug: How To Fold A T-Shirt In 2 Seconds - Explained

Who owns who in the automotive world?


(Click for bigger image.)

Via: Bits & Pieces: Who owns who in the automotive world?

Everything Will Be Okay...


Via: Bits & Pieces