Saturday, October 27, 2007

Homedics Brethe Air Revitalizer

I've had this thing for a few months now, and I absolutely love it. At Shorty's birthday party, everyone was wondering what it was. I explained it as a humidifier, air purifier, smell-good thing. The lime scent practically gives you a headache once you first put it in it's so strong, but all the scents wear off after four hours of use. You can also run it with just plain water. It comes with three scents - vanilla, orange and lime. Papa Rooster's favorite scent is vanilla - so plain, but nice. I haven't tried the lavender scent yet. Think that will be my next purchase. It costs $59.99. It was the same price a few months ago when they first came out. I figured the price would have gone down by now, but no luck. Homedics BRT-150 Brethe Air Revitalizer: Health & Personal Care

15 Famous Freaky Ghost Pictures

"Denise Russell took this picture of her grandmother in 1997, and was shocked to see a picture of her grandfather behind her grandmother years after it was developed."

This freaks me out. You have to check it out. Some of these look so real, they almost look fake, but the pictures have been checked by research and show no tampering.

14 more eerie pictures and stories here:
15 Famous Freaky Ghost Pictures - Photos - KNBC Los Angeles

Via: Neatorama

Friday, October 26, 2007

At least I don’t have Alzheimers

You've got to admit, this is a little funny.

At least I don’t have Alzheimers : My Confined Space

Best Pre-Flight Safety Announcement Ever

Via: Outhouse Rag

Redneck Tanktop

Ten of the Strangest Things Caught While Fishing

Houses with a View

Classic Carol Burnett - Dentist Skit

When my grandpa was alive, he loved to watch Carol Burnett. He is the only man I have ever known who would laugh until he cried watching cartoons. He had the most infectious laugh you have ever heard. He was a big man, not overweight, but just big. He had a big, barrel chest. Every time he laughed, he would wheeze. He had terrible emphysema, but I think he would have wheezed when he laughed even if he didn't have that horrible disease. I sure do miss him.

This is so hilarious because, not only does it hit close to home with my dentist and him not "taking a class yet" on implants, but it's hilarious because Harvey Korman cannot control his laughter.

My favorite Carol Burnett skit, which I can't find a video of, is of Tim Conway advertising Saran Wrap. I remember being a kid watching that and just about falling out of the chair because I was laughing so hard.

Thanks, Sheri

Fort Worth Ghost Group - Fort Worth Ghost Group (Fort Worth, TX) -

I don't know if any of you have heard about this website or not. It's called I don't know how I found it a long time ago, but I did. There's more categories than just the ghost group. It's a great way for single people to meet each other. Or at least I think it is anyway - of course, I'm not single and I've never actually been to a meetup...but I still think it's a neat idea. It's not just for Fort Worth. It includes cities all over the United States. You can pick meetups by city or topic. Here's a list of some of the topics covered in Fort Worth:

Alternative Health
Board Games
Card Games
Computer & Video
Cultures & Community
Groups & Associations
Internet & Technology
Investing Strategies
Politics & Activism
Role Playing Games
USA Presidential
Work & Career

About Fort Worth Ghost Group - Fort Worth Ghost Group (Fort Worth, TX) -

Poll: One-Third Believe In Ghosts, UFOs

I'm definitely part of the one-third, and I'm not ashamed to say that. When you have had personal experiences that just can't be explained away, then it's kind of hard not to believe.

AP) WASHINGTON It was bad enough when the TV and lights inexplicably flicked on at night, Misty Conrad says. When her daughter began talking to an unseen girl named Nicole and neighbors said children had been murdered in the house, it was time to move.

Put Conrad, a homemaker from Hampton, Va., firmly in the camp of the 34 percent of people who say they believe in ghosts, according to a pre-Halloween poll by The Associated Press and Ipsos. That's the same proportion who believe in unidentified flying objects — exceeding the 19 percent who accept the existence of spells or witchcraft.

Forty-eight percent believe in extrasensory perception, or ESP. But nearly half of you knew we were about to tell you that, right?

Conrad, now 40, lived in Syracuse, Ind., when her family was scared from the house they rented.

"It kind of creeped you out," she recalled this week. "I needed to get us out."

To put the roughly one-third who believe in ghosts and UFOs in perspective, it's about the same as, in recent AP-Ipsos polls, the 36 percent who said they are baseball fans; the 37 percent who said the U.S. made the right decision to invade Iraq; and the 31 percent who approve of the job President Bush is doing.

A smaller but still substantial 23 percent say they have actually seen a ghost or believe they have been in one's presence, with the most likely candidates for such visits including single people, Catholics and those who never attend religious services. By 31 percent to 18 percent, more liberals than conservatives report seeing a specter.

More Here: - Poll: One-Third Believe In Ghosts, UFOs

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I absolutey love this website. You can play game shows and it's just like you were on the actual game show itself. Really trippy.

Stuff you didn't know

To “testify” was based on men in the Roman court swearing to a statement made by swearing on their testicles.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.

There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, “therein” the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.

Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.

Alfred Hitchcock didn’t have a belly button.It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.

The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle.

More stuff you didn’t know.

Bits & Pieces: Stuff you didn't know

Man Finds 3.92-Carat Diamond At Arkansas State Park

Dammit! I knew we went to the wrong digging place!

(AP) MURFREESBORO, Ark. A man visiting a diamond park with his fiancee found a 3.92-carat white stone, but it's not going to go onto the finger of his betrothed.

That's because she already has a ring - albeit only 1 carat - with a setting.

Eric Blake, 32, of Appleton, Wis., spotted the stone Tuesday along a trail at Crater of Diamonds State Park when he set down a bucket of mud he was carrying to a wash basin.

"I put the bucket down to switch hands. I looked down and there it was," Blake said.

The stone is big enough to fashion into jewelry, but Blake said Tuesday that he hadn't decided whether to have it placed into a setting.

His fiancee, Susan Gabrielson - who has "only one carat on her finger" - accompanied Blake to the park this week.

Crater of Diamonds is the world's only diamond-producing site open to the public, and visitors can keep the stones they dig up.

The largest diamond ever found in the United States, a 40-carat white stone named Uncle Sam, was unearthed there in 1924. - Man Finds 3.92-Carat Diamond At Ark. State Park

North Texas Snakes Active & Dangerous

(CBS 11 News) FORT WORTH Venomous snakes can be found all over North Texas, not just in wooded areas. Despite our recent cold snap, those potentially dangerous snakes are still active.

In the past two months, four people have been bitten by snakes.

"It was scary -- at first -- to pick it up," said Travis Tate about a rattlesnake head he keeps as a souvenir. "You still have those things where maybe it'll still attack."

Tate has reason to be a little jumpy. The head used to be attached to a rattlesnake that bit him Labor Day weekend.

"It's pretty instant pain," he said about the bite. "It's burning and on fire and getting smashed by a hammer."

More Here: - North Texas Snakes Active & Dangerous

'Bumbo' Baby Seats Recalled For Head Injury Risk

A popular baby seat is also potentially dangerous and being recalled.

The Early Show consumer correspondent Susan Koeppen reports the Consumer Product Safety Commission has announced the voluntary recall of about a million Bumbo "Baby Sitter" Seats, made by Bumbo International of South Africa.

The CPSC says, "If the seat is placed on a table, countertop, chair, or other elevated surface, young children can arch their backs, flip out of the Bumbo seat, and fall onto the floor, posing a risk of serious head injuries."

The agency says it's had 28 reports of young children falling out of the seats, and sustaining injuries that included three skull fractures suffered when kids fell out of Bumbo seats that had been placed on tables.

The seats were sold by Target, Wal-Mart, Sears, Kmart, Toys R Us, Babies R Us, USA Babies, and various other toy and children's stores nationwide, as well as numerous online vendors, from August 2003 through October 2007, the CPSC says. They cost $40.

Consumers should never use the infant seat on a table, countertop, chair, or other elevated surface, the agency warns. It adds that consumers can contact Bumbo to obtain warning label stickers and instructions, free of charge.

The new warning label will state: "WARNING - Prevent Falls; Never use on any elevated surface." Consumers should use the Bumbo seat at ground level, but should never leave a child unattended when the youngster is in the seat, the CPSC points out.

Consumers can contact Bumbo International at (877) 932-8626 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. EDT, Monday through Friday, or visit the firm's Web site at - 'Bumbo' Baby Seats Recalled For Head Injury Risk

The New Toyota

Albino Peacock

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


These shirts are hilarious.


More People Have Read This Shirt Than My Blog - Despairwear

Oh, my goodness! I have got to have this shirt.


Crescent Mummy Dogs

Crescent Mummy Dogs
Prep Time: 30 min ; Start to Finish: 50 min
Makes: 10 sandwiches Nutrition Information

Hot dogs are all wrapped up in a classic recipe for Halloween...or anytime a chuckle is in order.
1 can (8 oz) Pillsbury® refrigerated crescent dinner rolls (8 count)
2 1/2 slices (2.5 oz) American cheese slices, quartered
10 large hot dogs
Cooking spray
Mustard or ketchup, if desired

1 . Heat oven to 375°F. Unroll dough; separate at perforations creating 4 rectangles; press perforations to seal. With knife or kitchen scissors, cut each rectangle lengthwise into 10 pieces, making a total of 40 pieces of dough. Slice cheese slices into quarters (1/2 slice cheese, cut in half).
2 . Wrap 4 pieces of dough around each hot dog and 1/4 slice of cheese to look like "bandages," stretching dough slightly to completely cover hot dog. About 1/2 inch from one end of each hot dog, separate "bandages" so hot dog shows through for "face." On ungreased large cookie sheet, place wrapped hot dogs (cheese side down); spray dough lightly with cooking spray.
3 . Bake 13 to 17 minutes or until dough is light golden brown and hot dogs are hot. With mustard, draw features on "face." Crescent Mummy Dogs

Thanks, Martha

The Seven Deadly Sins

We were just watching a game show on TV. I don't know the name of it. But the question was name one of the seven deadly sins that is also the name of a slow-moving animal. The answer was sloth. I had no idea sloth meant anything other than an animal. There's a show on PBS called Big, Big World and the star of the show is a sloth named Snook. I cannot watch that show without thinking of Judge Riley, the county judge for Parker County. I'm sorry, Judge Riley, but he is your identical twin.

The seven deadly sins, also known as the capital vices or cardinal sins, are a classification of vices that were originally used in early Christian teachings to educate and instruct followers concerning (immoral) fallen man's tendency to sin.

The seven deadly sins are:

Lust - Lust is usually thought of as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Unfulfilled lusts sometimes lead to sexual or sociological compulsions and/or transgressions including (but obviously not limited to) sexual addiction, adultery, bestiality, and rape. Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary

Gluttony - Derived from the Latin gluttire, meaning to gulp down or swallow, gluttony is the over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste. In the Christian religions, it is considered a sin because of the excessive desire for food, or its withholding from the needy.[1]

Greed - Greed is, like Lust and Gluttony, a sin of excess. However, Greed (as seen by the Church) applied to the acquisition of wealth in particular.

Sloth - More than other sins, the definition of Sloth has changed considerably since its original inclusion among the seven deadly sins. In fact it was first called the sin of sadness. It had been in the early years of Christianity characterized by what modern writers would now describe as apathy, depression, and joylessness — the last being viewed as being a refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world He created. Current interpretations are therefore much less stringent and comprehensive than they were in medieval times, and portray Sloth as being more simply a sin of laziness, of an unwillingness to act, an unwillingness to care (rather than a failure to love God and His works). For this reason Sloth is now often seen as being considerably less serious than the other sins.

Wrath - Wrath may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, both to others and in the form of self-denial, impatience with the procedure of law, and the desire to seek revenge outside of the workings of the justice system (such as engaging in vigilantism) and generally wishing to do evil or harm to others.

Envy - Like Greed, Envy is characterized by an insatiable desire; they differ, however, for two main reasons. First, Greed is largely associated with material goods, whereas Envy may apply more generally. Second, those who commit the sin of Envy desire something that someone else has which they perceive themselves as lacking.

Pride - In almost every list Pride is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and indeed the ultimate source from which the others arise. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them, and excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God).

Seven deadly sins - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Are Boys An Endangered Species?

Why half as many boys as girls are being born in places around the world.

Half as many boys as girls are being born in some places around the world—and pollution is the prime suspect.

Among the Chippewas of the Aamjiwnaang First Nation community living on the shores of the St. Clair River outside Sarnia, Ontario, tribal leaders were puzzling over a variety of health problems—from asthma to cancer to miscarriages—plaguing their families. The Aamjiwnaang—the name means “at the spawning stream”—were shaken when they realized that there was a dramatic disproportion of girls to boys among them.

Jim Brophy, director of the Occupational Health Clinic for Ontario Workers’ Sarnia branch, remembers the look of shock on their faces when they suddenly made the connection. “It was like a deep family secret getting out,” Brophy recalls. “They had enough girls for three baseball teams, but not enough boys for even one boy team.”

The Full Story Here: Are Boys An Endangered Species? - Page 1 - MSN Health & Fitness - Pregnancy & Kids

Via: Linkfilter

Guide to Gardening by Mail, Mail Order Gardening, and Catalogs

Welcome to the most complete directory of gardening sources! There are 5,960 gardening vendors listed within the Garden Watchdog and this directory makes it easy to find and contact them. Our name sums up our mission: we're here to protect and serve consumers by providing information on gardening companies.

After you review the Introduction and Acceptable Use Policy, you can share your own mail-order experiences, or use our search and browse features to find reputable sources for all your gardening needs.

View our legend to learn the meaning of the green, yellow, and red icons. We also have a companion website, the Garden Bookworm where gardening books are rated. Are you looking for a specific plant?

Check out PlantScout to find sources that offer the plant, seed or bulbs you're seeking!
36,108 comments have been posted (25,820 positive, 3,901 neutral, 6,387 negative).

If you like this feature, we invite you to take a quick tour of Dave's Garden for more helpful garden tools and information.

The Watchdog 30 - These 30 companies are currently the most highly rated within our entire database. Each of them is listed here because of feedback from their customers

Guide to Gardening by Mail, Mail Order Gardening, and Catalogs

Via: Linkfilter

Top 15 Manipulated Photographs

Images have become the mainstay of our experience of historical events and occasionally people have felt the need to manipulate those images to support their views or manipulate the truth. Since the advent of the Internet, we are now also seeing a large number of “photoshopped” images created for humor or popularity. This is a list of 15 of the most famous manipulated images

All Dig Down

A website set up for musicians of every hue and decibel count to showcase and sell their wares. It will work by getting artists to design their own studio pages on the site, earning revenue from record sales and royalty payments from tracks streamed from the site.

They can also build and share their own music libraries, and even earn commission on sales generated from users who purchase music based on what they have found in the artist's library.

Consumers, too, can earn money from traffic to their page and there will be pages of free user-generated editorial content available on the site.

All Dig Down

Via: Linkfilter

Warning: Fun ahead / Safety first, yes, but today's overprotected kids need to live a little

This story reminds me of the time Shorty and I went over to my mother's to pick her up and we were all going to go to lunch. My mother says, "Why don't we take my car, and you can just hold Shorty in your lap." My reply, "Ummm, that's kind of illegal, Mom." Her response, "There's too much safety crap these days for kids. What happened to the good ol' days where kids stood up in the front seat of the station wagon?"

Every time I buckle my son into his car seat - positioned between the side impact air bags and above the antilock brakes in our five-star safety-rated automobile - I think about my preferred mode of travel in the summer of 1983.

I spent that season at the Connecticut wilderness home of a friend from elementary school, who was moving from the Bay Area to the East Coast. When it was time to drive the station wagon down the mountain road, his father would often give us a choice: Would we like to ride in the backseat or on the roof of the car?

In retrospect, this was probably a really bad idea. If two 12-year-olds were seen traveling on the roof of a car in 2007, it would likely trigger an Amber Alert, four dozen cell phone calls to Child Protective Services and a viral YouTube video to be played endlessly on "Nancy Grace." But I'm sort of glad it happened. Being perched on the top of that slow-moving Ford Country Squire was a small risk (remember, this was the pre-Ford Taurus 1980s, when station wagons had giant luggage racks that were practically made for passenger travel), but there was also a reward. Riding on the roof of that car made me a little bit less of a wuss.

The wussification of American children is a relatively recent phenomenon, but a very real one. We pamper our kids, over-schedule them, overemphasize fairness in competition (the score ends in a tie ... again!) and keep them indoors too much, to the point that we're doing them a huge disservice. Kids aren't learning how to get hurt, lose, fend for themselves, find their balance and discover minor dangers on their own - all important parts of growing up.

The most encouraging parenting-related quote I've heard this year came from Peter Cornall, the head of leisure safety for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents in England (best business card title ... ever), who says that overprotective parenting can hurt the development of children.
"Parents and children must not be frightened about venturing outside," he told the London Times in a June article. "When children spend time in the great outdoors, getting muddy, getting wet, getting stung by nettles, they learn important lessons - what hurts, what is slippery, what you can trip over or fall from. We need to try to break down the perceived safety barriers to playing outside."

I don't think he's saying people should get rid of their car seats or start smoking two packs a day while they're pregnant again. The point is to take some time and rediscover a few forgotten traditions, particularly ones that take place outdoors.

The popularity of "The Dangerous Book for Boys" is one great sign that coddling may be on the wane. That best-seller by brothers Conn and Hal Iggulden focuses on traditions - including how to build a tree house and instructions for making a go-cart - that are facing extinction in our paranoid parenting culture.

Accompanying this article are a few more "dangerous" things families can do together in the Bay Area, all chosen to help you de-wussify your brood. You may need to bring some Bactine now - but your kids will thank you later.

Warning: Fun ahead / Safety first, yes, but today's overprotected kids need to live a little

Via: Linkfilter

20 Useless Body Parts (Why Do / Did We Need Them?) | The WVb

Wisdom teeth, neck rib and 18 more.

20 Useless Body Parts (Why Do / Did We Need Them?) The WVb

Via: Linkfilter

Convert Case - Convert upper case to lower case, lower case to upper case and more!

Accidentally left the caps lock on and typed something, just got this website and copy and paste what you typed, and it will convert your text the way you want it to look.

Convert Case - Convert upper case to lower case, lower case to upper case and more!

Via: Linkfilter

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


I had four rolls of film that were at least four years old developed the other day. Thought I'd share with you some of the pics.

This is wysteria that grows out in the creek in front of the house.

Here's our cat, Loco. This picture was taken pre-Shorty. You can tell because he's so relaxed.

This is a tree that fell down during a tornado on June 1, 2004.

Our New Fish

We got a Beta the other day. Am I spelling that right? I have no idea. Maddie calls him Fishy. I thought he was pretty because he was pink with red polka dots. Have y'all ever seen one like this? Do you like the 1960 Convertible Impala in the top picture? Tim gave that to Shorty for her birthday. She loves it.

What Love Is...

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8
'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4
'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5
'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6
'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4
'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7
'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8
'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7
'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6
'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8
'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6
'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7
'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4
'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4
'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6
'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry.'

Thanks, Mom

Mattresses & Dust Mites

My mom gave me an insert out of the Parade Magazine. It's got an article in it entitled "Good Health Begins At Home."

It says, "Dust mites thrive on human skin cells, and we shed millions of them daily. Your bed, in particular, is a dust-mite smorgasbord. A mattress and pillow can be a pretty horrendous place. After five years, about 10 percent of the weight of a pillow is composed of dust mites and their debris. Every 10 years, mattresses double their weight with debris containing mites, insects, food particles and other unpleasant matter."

Here's what you can do:
1. Wash bed linens once a week in hot water. Place protectors on pillows, box springs, and mattresses. If you wash your sheets weekly, you need to wash the protector only two to four times a year - or every other month if you have severe allergies or asthma.
2. Vacuum carpets and upholstery once a week with a HEPA vacuum. Clean floors, furniture, tops of doors, window frames and sills weekly with a damp cloth.

(I also saw on "How Clean Is Your House" where they took the actual vacuum and set it on top of the mattress (with the linens off, of course) and vacuumed the whole mattress - not with the brush attachment but with the actual vacuum where the little brush spins - you know what I'm talking about - I just can't think of the word for it.)

Squid Soap: good idea, poor execution: Parent Hacks

Shorty does not like this at all. She did at first, now the squid part scares her. She might be a little too young for this

Squid Soap: good idea, poor execution: Parent Hacks

The Death Report

132,561 People

Via: The Presurfer


Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the damn sheet rock..."

I had read this before and cracked up. It still cracks me up. Thanks, Tim.

How to tell if a woman is crazy

This is hilarious. This guy even posts a picture of the crazy chick he's talking about.

1. Hair past her ass
Super long hair is a dead giveaway. Either she's a religious nut or just has WAY too much time to wash and dry it. No woman should spend that much time on her hair just to straighten out the split ends. And nothing says stay away like a six foot long, fat-ass braid. Here’s a good rule of thumb: if she can hang you with it, it's too long.

2. Wants sex all the time
Every guy dreams about it, but you never hear about anyone surviving it. 98% of sex is convincing a woman to sleep with your fat, hairy ass. If she wants it all the time, it's no longer a challenge, and you stop wanting it. Then she starts to accuse you of cheating, shortly after which comes the Phil Hartman afternoon dirt nap.

3. Crazy Eyes or never blinks
If you can see the entire pupil, she's crazy. If she doesn't blink ever, that's not right. If she blinks all the time, that's just as screwed up. It’s sexy if one eye is a different color, but if she has a glass eye with no pupil, check her for a knife and duck out the back door.

4. Talks about husband in the past tense
It's a good idea to stay away from married women. It's a really good idea to get as far away as possible from soon-to-be widows.

5. Doesn't talk
You may think it is sexy for a woman at a party to stare you down across the room, walk over and grab your hand, lead you to an empty bedroom and blow you. I guarantee the reason she is not talking is because she doesn't have any teeth or she doesn't have any vagina. Trust me, most transgender dudes don't have much to say... on the first date.

6. Smokes Capris
Trust me. Crazy.

7. Republican
No woman should be Republican. It just ain't right. Republican woman have to be subservient to their husbands, and no woman should have to do that. Let's face it, you'd have to be completely fucking crazy to let a man run your life.

8. Has kids, but never mentions them
Every non-crazy woman is in love with her kids. A cheating woman will still lie in bed with her cheat and talk about her kids.

9. Drinks vodka tonic without tonic
I like a woman that drinks. I don't like a woman that can drink more than me. If she's drinking straight from a bottle, you'd best stay away. Also be on the lookout for any woman who has a whole box of wine in the fridge and is brewing beer in a bag in the basement.

10. Laughs. All the time.
Most funny women are at least half-crazy. Women shouldn't have to tell jokes to get attention because they have boobs for that. If a woman tells jokes to get laughs, she's mostly crazy. If all she does is laugh and especially in a barking laugh, she's just plain crazy. But now that I think about it, I'd rather deal with a crazy woman than a half crazy one. At least with a crazy woman, you know what you're getting into. There's something to be said for predictability.

11. She Looks Like This (Click Link To See Picture.)

HolyJuan: How to tell if a woman is crazy

Wake Up Cat

145 Guides to Fix It Yourself

"Albeit a coffee maker or water softener, a simple fact of life is that things around the house break. However, what if instead of running to the store to replace the broken item, you had a simple tutorial that would walk you through some of the most common problems and told you how to fix them? That would probably save you some money right?

Well, next time a home appliance goes on the fritz, remember to check out this site. A website named Fix-It Club currently has 145 guides that will help you troubleshoot and repair your broken appliance. In some cases, the guides even contain video clips that will help you along."

145 Guides to Fix It Yourself - Dumb Little Man

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Perfect Girl

Why the Amish forgive so quickly

By Donald B. Kraybill
Tue Oct 2, 4:00 AM ET

Elizabethtown, Pa. - ONE year ago today, a shooter entered a one-room Amish school in Nickel Mines, Pa., dismissed all but 10 girls, and fired at them execution-style, killing five before shooting himself.

Within hours, the Amish community forgave the killer and his family. News of the instant forgiveness stunned the outside world – almost as much as the incident itself did. Many pundits lauded the Amish, but others worried that hasty forgiveness was emotionally unhealthy.

In dozens of interviews with Amish people since the tragedy, I discovered that the Amish approach to forgiveness is indeed quick and unconventional – but also inspirational to the rest of us.

Members of the Amish community began offering words and hugs of forgiveness when the blood was barely dry on the schoolhouse floor. A grandmother laughed when I asked if the forgiveness was orchestrated. "You mean that some people actually thought we had a meeting to plan forgiveness?"

As the father of a slain daughter explained, "Our forgiveness was not our words, it was what we did." Members of the community visited the gunman's widow at her home with food and flowers and hugged members of his family. There were a few words, but it was primarily their hugs, gifts, and mere presence – acts of grace – that communicated Amish forgiveness. Of the 75 people at the killer's burial, about half were Amish, including parents who had buried their own children a day or so before. Amish people also contributed to a fund for the shooter's family.

For most people, a decision to forgive comes – if ever – at the end of a long emotional journey that may stretch over months if not years. The Amish invert the process. Their religious tradition predisposes them to forgive even before an injustice occurs.

Amish faith is grounded in the teachings of Jesus to love enemies, reject revenge, and leave vengeance in the hands of God. As a father who lost a daughter in the schoolhouse said, "Forgiveness means giving up the right to revenge."

Unlike those who hire lawyers at every turn to protect their rights, the Amish yield to divine providence in the case of an unspeakable tragedy such as the one at Nickel Mines – believing that God's long arm of justice removes that need for human retaliation.

In the Amish view, forgiveness is a religious duty. As a young Amish carpenter said, "It's just standard forgiveness," but he was wrong. Conventional Christian forgiveness posits a God who forgives sinners and urges them to forgive others – to pass the grace on to those who wrong them. The Amish refrain – "If we don't forgive, we won't be forgiven" – shows a different impetus. Their salvation hinges on their willingness to forgive, a powerful motivation to extend grace to others. They cite the Lord's Prayer, and Jesus' story about an unforgiving servant as their motivation. One bishop, pointing to verses following the Lord's Prayer, said emphatically, "Forgiveness is the only thing that Jesus underscored in the Lord's Prayer."

"Forgiveness was a decided issue," one bishop explained – decided, that is, by Amish history and practice over the centuries. When the religious ancestors of the Amish were torched at the stake for their faith in 16th-century Europe, many of them, echoing Jesus on the cross, prayed aloud that God would forgive their executioners.

Despite their front-loaded commitment, the Amish still find forgiveness to be a long emotional process. Though there were no expressions of outright rage or hopes that the gunman would burn in hell, the wanton slaughter of their children did bring deep pain, tears, and raw grief.

While forgiveness means not holding a grudge – "the acid of bitterness eats the container that holds it," one farmer explained – the Amish are clear that it does not free the offender from punishment. Had the gunman survived, they would have wanted him locked up, not for revenge but to protect other children.

In mainstream society, retribution is a taken-for-granted right. Around the world, names of deities are often invoked to fuel cycles of revenge generation after generation.

In refreshing contrast, rather than using religion to bless and legitimize revenge, the Amish believe that God smiles on acts of grace that open doors for reconciliation.

• Donald B. Kraybill, distinguished professor at Elizabethtown College, is coauthor of the book, "Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy."

Why the Amish forgive so quickly - Yahoo! News

AT & T

My computer totally screwed up Saturday. Totally lost my internet connection. Couldn't get on Firefox or Internet Explorer. I called AT&T, which is who I have my DSL service through, and was on the phone with them for what seemed like an hour - did not get the problem fixed. My brother-in-law, who was here for Shorty's birthday party, got me connected finally through Internet Explorer which is what I've been using since then (I hate it - but I'm very appreciative that I can at least connect to the internet.)

Anyway, I get a follow-up email from AT&T asking me to complete a survey. The very first sentence in their email is this:

"(Por favor, haga clic aquí para pasar al español)"

I swear to you, that is the first line of the email. So without hesitation, I sent a reply. Here is what I said:

"This is America - speak ENGLISH!"

Build-A-Lyric Song Generator

Create your own song and bluegrass group 'No Speed Limit' will sing it back to you. Type in a name, occupation, hobby, means of transportation, and some other info, and your song will be created.

Then listen to 'No Speed Limit' singing your song.

The Presurfer: Build-A-Lyric Song Generator

What Part of Fall Are You?

You Are Changing Leaves

Pretty, but soon dead.

What Kind of Monster Are You?

You Are a Witch (or Warlock)

You are deviously brilliant and a perfect manipulator.
You somehow always end up getting what you want - without anyone knowing you're working behind the scenes.
Crafty and cunning, you can work your way out of any jam.
And it's easy for you to get people to do what you want, whether you're working for good or evil.

Your greatest power: Mind control

Your greatest weakness: Making people your puppets

You play well with: Ghosts

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Belong in 1952
You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

Find The Lyrics To The Songs You Sing

I needed this website about 15 years ago when me and my brother were driving to Denton one day. I had my favorite Charley Pride cassette tape playing. I had the stereo turned up and it was playing "Is Anybody Going To San Antone?" My brother was singing away, and so was anybody going to San Antone, or Phoenix, Arizona...anyplace is all right as long as I -- and here's where I was flabbergasted because for years I had been singing "can forget I fell for Nona." Much to my surprise, I found out the correct lyrics were "can forget I've ever known her." I'm such a dumbass sometimes. At least that's better than the Kenny Rogers' song "Lucille" where I used to think he sang, "400 children and a crock in the field."


The 5 Creepiest Urban Legends (That Happen to be True)

From a dead body under your mattress to being buried alive - these freak me out.

The 5 Creepiest Urban Legends (That Happen to be True)

TMX Cookie Monster

Shorty is not too fond of the TMX Cookie Monster. I pushed the button on his belly yesterday morning, and Shorty came walking into the room. After Cookie got through doing his laughing, Shorty looked at me and said, "Dat too-pid, Momma." Nice!

Shorty's Two-Year-Old Checkup

I'm getting nervous because today is Shorty's 2-year-old checkup. I'm nervous because I hate it when they give her shots. Every checkup we've been to since she was born, except for one, they gave her, like, five shots. I checked online to see if I could find any info out about it, and everything I've read said that she might could get a Hepatitis A shot. One website said this: (the doctor will) give your toddler another round of immunizations (if she didn't get vaccines for DPT or DTaP, polio, or chicken pox at her 12-month checkup, she'll get immunized for them now). She's gotten all her immunizations since she was born. So I call the doctor's office to see if I should give her Tylenol an hour before her appointment, which is what they recommend you do if she's going to have shots, and they said, at the 2-year checkup, they generally do get shots.

Here's a link to the Recommended Immunization Schedulefor Persons Aged 0–18 Years—UNITED STATES • 2007 - It's kind of confusing if you ask me.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Weird Shoes

Shorty's Birthday Party

I have to say that Shorty's birthday party was great. We all had a great time. Papa Rooster didn't look too thrilled being the official pinata holder - but it was a pull-string pinata, so his family jewels are still intact. He even had a better time after the Grey Goose kicked in. Thanks to everybody who came.

Coat hanger gorilla