When Females Drink Too Much

1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.

2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling 'woo-hoo!' is truly the sexiest dance move around.

3. We've suddenly decided that we want to kick someone's butt and honestly believe we could do it too.

4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like homeless hookers than the goddesses we were just four hours ago.

5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.

6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because 'oh my god! I love this song!'

7. We've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.

8. We've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that's just because we can no longer taste the vodka.

10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop?)

11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when we sit on it.

12. We take our shoes off because we believe it's their fault that we're having problems walking straight.

Thanks, Mona