Hillbilly Wisdom

These are helpful hints taken out of my "Genuine Hillbilly Calendar" we purchased at the Lum & Abner Jot'Em Down Store in Pine Ridge, Arkansas.

1. Kissin a mule will cure a cold.
2. To cure chapped lips - kiss the middle bar of a five-rail fence.
3. The one who goes to sleep first after you git married will probably die first.
4. Shootin' a barn swallow is always bad luck.
5. It's bad luck to bring a hoe into the house. (In more ways than one.)
6. Put grease from a church bell in your ears and you'll hear better.
7. It's good luck for a bride to cook her own wedding dinner.
8. Don't never start a job on a Saturday that can't be finished before dark.
9. If you shoot one water moccison - you'll see plenty more before you can git home.
10. Wild cherry bark will make yore hair grow back.
11. To sleep better - put your shoes under the bed with the toes pointed to the nearest wall.
12. Always make cider in clear weather with a west wind.