My Best Parenting Advice

I just wanted to say that the post below this one will be my last post that has anything to do with lead.

Here is my advice to parents: Go out in your yard and find a good-sized rock, one that's too big to fit in your kid's mouth, but not so big that they can't pick it up.

Take it in the house and scrub it with some lard or vegetable oil or some kind of all-natural crap you've got laying around the house. Better yet, put the damn rock in your oven. Set the oven on the highest setting. Let rock cook for about an hour. Turn off oven. Remove rock and let cool. Call the new toy "Rocko" like Zoey on Sesame Street. This toy is guaranteed to entertain your child a total of about .00000003 milliseconds. Will you have peace of mind knowing Rocko contains no lead? I have no idea because I have no idea where lead comes from other than it's what makes a pencil write.